I bet just about everyone can relate to this. I have days when I feel like I’m on top of the world. I’m totally rockin my workouts, I’m eating healthy with no cravings, and I just feel like I have my shit together. Like I’m in charge of my own actions (like I should be). And then I fall in a downward spiral. I start having these intense cravings, I binge eat day after day, I gain weight overnight, and I just feel horrible about myself. I’ve gotten to a point where I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. Maybe I really do have a food addiction? I’ve done some research on the topic and everything I read recommended keeping a food diary recording your emotions before and after each binge to find out what triggers your bad habit. About two weeks ago I started eating like crazy ( I was seriously out of control) and this whole food diary thing sounded like a pretty good idea so I gave it a try. I’ve just started my journal. I literally only have 2 or 3 entries so far and each one mentions what I binged on and how I plan to stop. So basically, I haven’t seen much progress yet with the journal but I think recording my feelings does help.
Anyway, most people would think of a food diary (or any diary for that matter) as extremely private but I’m gonna do something different. Every week I’m going to share with you a blog post that contains my journal entries for the week. I’ll mention any cravings I have, how I’m feeling, how I got over the craving (or how I ended up binging instead) as well as how my workouts are going.
Every once in awhile I’ll come across a story some random stranger shared on social media that I can totally relate to. It’s usually something embarrassing that most people wouldn’t dare tell even their spouses. These are the stories that inspire me the most. I much rather read about someone who ate a whole pack of Oreos and is getting back on track and pushing towards their goals anyway rather than how someone whipped up a healthy dinner for their family.
Honestly, it’s terrifying for me to start sharing this kind of thing with you but I want someone to be able to relate to my story. I also don’t want anyone out there to think I’m perfect. Sometimes I feel people think it’s easy for me because I’ve reached my goal already. I’ve been doing this whole healthy eating and exercise thing for a few years now but it hasn’t gotten any easier for me. I want people to understand that. I’m just like anyone else out there that’s working toward their fitness goals. I don’t have it together any more than the girl just starting her journey today!
This post is more of an introduction of what’s to come but I do want to let you know where I’m at right now. I completed P90X3 about a month ago and at my lowest weight I was 114 lbs. That’s kind of low for me but I was still healthy and happy. After completing the program, I started doing a hybrid workout of PiYo and P90X3. I started this hybrid about 2 weeks before going on vacation. For some reason upon starting the new program my eating habits were out of control. On my cheat days I was eating way more than I should of been and even when eating healthy I was overeating. I gained some weight before going on vacation and it just got worse from there. I had every intention of healthy eating while away and even brought my workouts with me. After a pig roast, cheesesteaks, ice cream, and other goodies I think I just gave up. I totally enjoyed my vacation and am proud of myself for not letting guilt sink in but now I have to get my act together. I now weigh about 130 lbs and am working toward losing 10 lbs to get down to 120 lbs. That would be my ideal weight to stay at. I plan to go at it at full force. I’ve planned out all my meals for the week and even did some meal prepping yesterday. I just ordered in a new workout program (Les Mills Combat). I felt like I needed something new to start fresh on my journey.
Something that I’ve learned: Life happens but no matter what you go through you can always bounce back and get on track once again. Your life doesn’t have to come crashing down around you just because you ate one (or 5) candy bars. Mistakes will always happen but that doesn’t make you a bad person. How you pick yourself back up says more about you than any screw up moment ever will!