In a previous blog post I had mentioned that I was going to share my food diary with the world every week. I’ll do this every Thursday and I’m going to share exactly what’s in my journal, no edits! These are my REAL feelings on food and how I deal with my struggles. If there’s a therapist out there somewhere reading this, I already know I probably need help so feel free to contact me by leaving a comment below 🙂
So I’m actually going to start with my first entry which was May 13th. This was before I went on vacation for a week and also in the middle of my eating breakdown. Nothing stressful was going on in my life (I don’t think) but I was for some reason eating like I had never seen food before. The week I was on vacation I didn’t journal but then it picks back up when I return and finally get back on track.
Here it goes…
I think I’m addicted to food or have a binge eating disorder. I started a new workout program (PiYo/P90X3 hybrid) this week and have been part of the coach 21 Day Challenge. I should be doing better but I can’t stop thinking about chocolate chip cookies. Instead of giving into my craving I just eat more of everything else. Today I devoured 2 pancakes, an egg sandwich, and WAY too many hashbrowns. I wasn’t even that hungry to begin with and I ate everything so fast. I don’t get it. I’m actually less stressed this week and in a better mood because my vacation is coming up. I know I have a problem and I’m not sure how to fix it. From now on I’ll write my thoughts and feelings after a binge in this food diary to try to determine the cause of my binge eating. Now the question is if I eat my chocolate chip cookie, will go away? Also want a Twix, just sayin!
So I ate a half a pizza and almost an entire cookie pie in one sitting. But it was my cheat meal so I don’t feel so bad. I’m just hoping my cravings don’t get worse. I need to make cheat meal rules. Like maybe healthier cheats. Tomorrow I’m starting Shakeology and plan to do better with my nutrition. Hopefully I can afford to get a 30 day supply so I can keep going if I like it!
So peanut butter was BOGO the other day so I picked up 2 jars. I was good at first but then every time I went into the kitchen I’d take another (maybe 5) large spoonfuls. I was out of control. I ate almost a whole jar in one day! I’m doing good today. I even avoided peanut butter cookies in the kitchen at work. But now I’m wanting more peanut butter! I’m not hungry but it’s sitting there in the kitchen calling my name. I’m drooling just thinking about it. Must resist!
Since getting back from vacation I’ve been doing fantastic. So great that it’s scary. I feel like a huge binge is in my future. Not right away but it always seems to happen. Anyway, my husband is ordering a pizza tonight for our game night with friends. I could have a slice but I’m not craving. I don’t need it. So I’m going to pass. Now that’s POWERFUL!
It’s Sunday night and I feel like snacking. I think I’m bored. I’ve been in the house all weekend. Good news is I’m not craving anything in particular. Doing good on cravings so far. I can always have some almonds if I must.
The whole point of these type of posts is to see that other people are going through the same struggles that you may be facing. Do you like this style of post? Let me know, you can always message me on Facebook!